Follow ze heart

I thought it would be more fun to share my work with the Tarot then go on about what I've been up to these days. Last night with Crowly's Thoth deck I was given this spread:

What I need right now/Goal

Keywords
determination; strength of character; courage under fire; a test of personal strength.

What not to do/obstacle
Key Words
Feeling Stuck, Ignorant, Blocks, Interference, Boundaries, Bad News, Difficulties, Fears and Attachments

What I need to do
(princess of wands)
Keywords
Overcoming fears and limiting beliefs; re-finding your purpose or vitality; revisiting your childhood dreams with a view to making them real; digging deep and taking the plunge; stepping into your limelight; being courageous and daring.

Where it takes me
Keywords
integration of polarities, unconscious becoming conscious, harmony, individuation from source

In other words to achieve strength/alignment on my path I must not let myself become stuck in my perceived limitations and boundries. I must go through my fears and limited beliefs. To this end I will shed light onto my unconscious monsters and integrate them into the heart.

I was buzzed to see the bit about revisiting your childhood dreams with a view to making them real because just the other day Jake Kotze at the blob (who's path seems to be a strange echo of my own) just wrote about the new Alice in Wonderland, a story of a...princess(?) realizing her dreams are real...follow jakes recent flows for more on this aspect of our story.

In the spirit of Tarot I told myself that the first track of a CD I pull out of a stack randomly will be important to this post:

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
When I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye

Hey, Hey, Hey, Woman, it's alright.
Hey, Hey, Hey, Woman, it's alright.

Tell the truth you never wanted me

Tell me...

In my dreams I'm jealous all the time
Then I wake I'm going out of my mind
Going out of my mind

Hey, Hey, Hey, Woman, it's alright.

We are dreaming and awakening and dying all the time, we have immense feelings...jealousy rage we are losing our minds! that's the work.

Ressurection

My interest in sharing my inspirations and doings returns! I am learning to sing. It seems that learning is only remembering and finding my voice is definitely a practice in remembering. The first song I picked up is a Santo Daime Hymn that Goes:

"Allow God to become a reality
Allow God to become a reality
and he will make out of you a beautiful truth"

So there's my goal and probably the theme of this blog.

Today is the spring equinox (Flowers are blooming!) , time of rebirth and balance. It was two years ago today that Mother Ayahuasca came into my being for the first time. Talk about remembering...oosh! Only in the past two months have I started working with the medicine again. I feel stronger and more centered on my path. Gracias a las plantas. Also thank you to so many great brothers and sisters and so many great spirits. I want to share with you a phenomenon that I've been present to in my life. It's somewhat related to the idea of Synchromysticism (see The Blob), finding divine coincidence in the seemingly mundane. When I am feeling spirit I hear sweet revelations of God in almost every song I happen to come across. I call them songs from God! Listen to Bright Eyes' "first day of my life" or U2's "She works in mysterious ways"as if they were about waking up to God and you'll understand. Here are the lyrics to a song that to me is a about gratitude towards Ayahuasca, though I think the writer did not intend this.

Since you lay my burdens
Since you lay my burdens
Since you lay my burdens down
All the troubles I been
Dragging down this trail
Seep into the thirsty ground

Since you turned your light
Upon my darkened dale
The pollinators flex their wings
And take into the air
Spin their emeraldine
Webs across the swales and prairies

And my stampeding buffalo
Stops in her tracks and watches the snow
Falling through the old oak tree
When you give your heart to me

This is my song of love
Gathered from stuff above
The wires, feathers and clouds
This is a song for you
A spring comes bubbling through
The place whenever you're around

And my stampeding buffalo
Stops in her tracks and watches the snow
Falling through the old oak tree
When you give your heart to me

I especialy love the image of my troubles sinking into the thirsty ground :)

Love love love
-Nick

Conception

So this blog is very new, so new that it isn't even born.